“The fact that you temporarily know more or that you are bigger does not mean that your child is not your equal.” –Eckhart Tolle
These words changed the way I see and interact with my children. In this quote, Tolle is talking about how we interact with the souls of our children. He suggests that we need to create a balance between “doing” and “being” in our relationship with our kids.
“Doing” involves all of those things we parents have a responsibility to manage…homework, chores, curfews, dinner dishes. “Doing” is helping our kids grow into responsible, contributing adults. All of those “doings” help with the development of our children in the physical dimension.
Just as critical is “being” with our kids. “Being” includes staring in quiet wonder at the miracle before you. It’s being curious about your child’s point of view. It’s giving an extra long cuddle at bedtime. “Being” feeds the soul and helps it soar. It makes the spirit feel safe and confident that it is worthy of attention and praise.
When we get agitated with our kids, many times it’s our ego butting heads with that of our child’s. We can mistake this stubbornness for good parenting by telling ourselves we know more than they do. Sometimes this is absolutely necessary, but when we find ourselves in a constant run-in with our kids, perhaps it’s time to connect in a different realm.
Remembering that your children have independent souls that do not belong to you can be a wondrous thing. Considering that their souls may even have more experience than yours in some other dimension can force you to take pause and find a new respect for the little person in front of you.
So when you find yourself butting heads with your child in the physical realm, take a step into another dimension. Try reaching out to touch their spirit by simply “being.” If you can make your child’s soul feel safe, perhaps you will be lucky enough to even hear it sing.